QUESTION:
My parents are constantly fighting over a lot. I want to go to Culinary School but they think that it will be a waste of money. My parents want me to go to college but the college of their choice and they want me to get the same major as they did when they went to college. How do I tell my parents I don’t want them to make choices for me?
ANSWER:
Thanks for your question; it’s a tough one for sure. As parents we really want what is best for our kids. Our decisions are often weighed by several factors that we may or may not share with our kids. One- money, if there isn’t enough money and we are expected or desiring to help out that will be a determining factor. Two-what we “think” is best for you, your situation and our experience of you (from babyhood to now).
When you ask me, “How do I tell my parents I don’t want them to make choices for me” that is often a critical and difficult step in learning to be an adult. I am assuming that you are at least 18years old?
There are some teens who want to be “an adult” and have all the privileges that go with that – no curfew, little rules, and pure freedom with no responsibilities to parents. They still expect to live in their parents’ home, have their parents pay their expenses: food, car insurance, medical expenses, and spending money etc. You can’t have both. Either you choose to follow your own path if it conflicts with what your parents want or you can try to compromise and work it out so both parties are happy.
You can also go to the college they want and still take a course or two that supports a culinary degree (eventually) to see if that is really where you want to be. Another way to see if culinary is the way to go, is to work in a restaurant. Culinary work is hard, demanding, long hours on your feet in a kitchen environment that is stressful, high energy and monotonous. I would try out that field before I commit to it. I speak from experience and a daughter who is a chef and currently hating it.
Pray for guidance. Sit down and talk together like adults and good luck!