"Just Wondering…" Teen Questions – Church Answers

QUESTION:
I have been going out with this person for one year and they asked me to marry them last night what should I do? Can someone help me.

ANSWER:

Thanks for your question. I am not sure where to start. There are so many factors that you have not gone into that would aid me in helping you consider the decision.

First off, you say you have been dating for a year- your age of course is a factor, one would assume that you are a young adult who can enter into the life time commitment of marriage.  When you ask what you should do, it sounds like you are pretty unsure yourself that this is something you want to do and that the question may have been completely caught you off guard?

Marriage is a big decision to make and if entered into with any fear or sincere doubt can lead to divorce.  My suggestion is to have a discussion with your boy/girl friend. What is their understanding of marriage- does it match yours?  Is it in line with the teaching of the <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>Catholic</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Church-</st1:placetype></st1:place> do you yourself know what we teach on marriage?  When is the marriage to take place- the very near or far future?  Was this something that you two have ever discussed, seriously discussed? Have you considered what each of you brings to a marriage including strengths, weaknesses, debt etc?  Are you both mature in your understanding of love and not just ?in love? with the idea of love and marriage?

This sounds like a time for some discussions and also some delving into what it takes to make marriage the lifetime, loving, fulfilling and wonderfully happy commitment that it is supposed to be.

Good luck !

QUESTION:

My friend was telling me that you couldn’t eat an hour before Mass is that true or not?

ANSWER:

Fasting before communion has long been a practice in the Catholic Church and became a universal practice by the fifth century.  Back in the early 1950?s the practice included fasting from food and water from midnight on. In 1964 Pope Paul the VI reduced the time to 1 hour before communion (not mass).  The sick and elderly are asked to only fast for 15 minutes.

Fasting has always and continues to be a practice in our faith.  Christ himself practiced fasting as a form of discipline and an opportunity to grow closer to God the Father.

At communion we receive the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ Jesus. We fast to prepare our bodies, souls and minds to receive the Living and true God. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>St Augustine</st1:city></st1:place> says that, with the Eucharist we become what we receive.

Fasting for an hour before communion when done with love and devotion can greatly increase in you the love of Christ and the graces you receive.

QUESTION:
What does Catholic mean anyway? Are we the same as Christians?

ANSWER: Here is an explanation I found at Newadvent.com and hope that it answers your question.

The word Catholic (katholikos from katholou — throughout the whole, i.e., universal) occurs in the Greek classics, e.g., in Aristotle and Polybius, and was freely used by the earlier Christian writers in what we may call its primitive and non-ecclesiastical sense. Thus we meet such phrases as the “the catholic resurrection” (Justin Martyr), “the catholic goodness of God” (Tertullian), “the four catholic winds” (Irenaeus), where we should now speak of “the general resurrection”, “the absolute or universal goodness of God“, “the four principal winds”, etc. The word seems in this usage to be opposed to merikos (partial) or idios (particular), and one familiar example of this conception still survives in the ancient phrase “Catholic Epistles” as applied to those ofSt. Peter, St. Jude, etc., which were so called as being addressed not to particular local communities, but to the Church at large.

The combination “the Catholic Church” (he katholike ekklesia) is found for the first time in the letter of St. Ignatius to the Smyrnaeans, written about the year 110. The words run: “Wheresoever the bishop shall appear, there let the people be, even as where Jesus may be, there is the universal [katholike] Church.” However, in view of the context, some difference of opinion prevails as to the precise connotation of the italicized word, and Kattenbusch, the Protestant professor of theology at Giessen, is prepared to interpret this earliest appearance of the phrase in the sense of mia mone, the “one and only” Church [Das apostolische Symbolum (1900), II, 922].

All Catholics are Christians- not all Christians are Catholic. To be Christian is to be a ?follower of Christ.? We believe that the Catholic Church is the one true church started by Christ Himself as referenced in Scripture, Matthew 16:18,

Jesus said to him in reply, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father.

And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, ¹and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.

I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven.  Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

You can also reference the website listed to see when and by whom the other religions and churches were started by (if you are interested)

www.whostartedyourchurch.com

QUESTION:

Over the summer I heard a talk from someone. They said that you should relax and have a special place where you can talk to God. Is that true or is it made up?

ANSWER:

When you ask if that is ?true or is it made up? you need to think about ?who? said this and in what context. For someone of faith to suggest that everyone have a special place where they can go and think and pray with God is not a bad idea. I don?t think it is a matter of being ?made up? or not, rather a good suggestion that perhaps works for that person and others.

God is everywhere, and we know as Catholics that he is especially present in our churches in the Tabernacle.  You can make time to visit a Catholic Church and spend some quiet time with the Lord; you can be outside or in your own room as well.

What is most important is of course making the time to pray each day. Where is not critical, making it happen is.  You will find peace, joy and a deeper sense of connection when you do.

If you ever want to try Adoration (praying before the Blessed Sacrament) there are many local Catholic Churches that offer Perpetual Adoration (Christ exposed in the Eucharist 24/7). I highly recommend it as it is a long tradition in the Catholic Church and a great way to pray before the Lord.

QUESTION:

What should I do if I have a friend that ran away from home and they are staying at my house? Should I call their parents and say they are at my house or should I just leave it?

ANSWER:

Having a place for a friend to come to in an emergency is a good thing. If a friend is running away because of a dangerous situation at home(assault, abuse etc), going to a friend’s house is fine but, calls to professionals (police, CPS etc) must also be made.

If your friend just doesn’t seem to “get along†with her parents and they fight often, then running away to your place is only a temporary escape. Teens and parents have always been at odds from the dawn of time, what is important to remember is that this is a normal part of growing up and teens becoming more independent.  To have your friend hang out at your place longer than a night is to prolong and delay learning to work out their difficulties with their parents.  Part of growing up is also learning to have difficult conversations, learning to cooperate and finding solutions that work for both parent and teen.

Letting your friend’s parents know that she is safe with you is a good idea so they do not call the police or worry needlessly. Try not to get in the middle of their disagreement, but encourage both parties to talk it out together.  If they really love and care about each other they can work out their difficulties and learn something valuable in the process.

QUESTION:
I feel so isolated when I come to Church. My family doesn’t go to Church so I usually sit by myself. I want to meet new people and sit with them during Mass but I’m very shy. How do I meet new people in our Church community?

ANSWER:

I am sorry you  feel isolated because your family does not attend Mass.

A good way to meet new people is to get involved in some of the many ministries available to people in the Church. This way you will meet new friends and gain new folks to sit by.  If you see anyone that you know at the Mass you attend, just ask if they don’t mind if you join them. Most people are happy to welcome you in and share the pew.  So don’t be shy!

QUESTION:
I get loss during <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Mass.</st1:place></st1:state> I usually day dream and when I stop I usually am lost. How do you get un-lost during Mass? How are we supposed to pay attention to Mass? I need help before I stop going to Mass.

ANSWER:

Getting “lost†at Mass is a common complaint that is very easily remedied. There are tons of books on the Mass to help people understand how rich and full of meaning it is.  The more you know, the more fully you can “get into†the Mass. Here are some suggested titles that I have found helpful:

Making the Mass Come Alive- John Hampsch, C.M.F.

Ask the Bible Geek-Mark Hart (pg. 49-62)

Catholicism for Dummies- Trigilio and Brighenti (Chapt. 8 is all on the Mass)

You can also go on-line and find out more to help you know that the time spent at Mass is time well spent and the rewards are a spiritual treasure chest.